It’s MY life!!!

It’s funny how this topic has been in my head for the past few weeks. I really dunno y but i supposed it is for some specific reasons which i myself dunno.

As a Christian, the word of God is very important in our life. It is the essence that shape our walk with God. Often times because of how the world is shaped into, we took the word of God for granted.

I know of christian friends who claim that they are very serious about God. Well, from outlook they look like a very devoted christian. But i supposed, it’s not about what u look outside. Inside is also important. Often times ppl hide some things in their life. Things that they know is not according to the word of God but to them if they dun let ppl know bout it then ppl won know. But little did they know that they have not make it right with God. Heart not right.

There are some also who realised that their actions and decisions do not follow God’s command but they still do it. It’s kind of dangerous because they tend to compromise with His word. They often comfort themselves by saying there is nothing wrong with them doing this because everyone around them are doing the same thing as well.Or they think something like, well it’s ok for now, i’ll make it right with God later. This is a very dangerous trap from the enemy. When a person tends to compromise, little by little it will get more n more w/o them realising it. In the end they will just bring problems into their lives.

Well, my dearest friends, just think bout this. It’s important to be serious with God’s word. He’s serious bout every details in our life. He doesn’t fool around with us. So we should take Him n His words seriously as well. By following His words, we can put on the full armor of god.

*Flowers and grass withers, but His word stands forever.Amen!*

I'll Still Be Here
by Kiko Dartania

I just want to be with you
Hear the things you would say
So I can feel that love that's true
To make my mind fly far away.

But you don't want this anymore
And it's very evident to me
that these feelings I must endure
Will never go, they'll always be.

I hope and pray you come back
I miss your smile and your laugh
I try to forget, put it in the past
But I cannot give up on what we had.

We gave each other all we were
And said exactly what we felt
Even though sometimes you weren't sure
You grabbed my hand and gave me help.

I love you, and hate you gone
And now my world's a haze
People are telling me to move on
But I am stuck in that perfect place.

Where we could talk, laugh, and smile
Where you loved me and helped me through
Where we could take on any trial
And knew exactly what to do.

I will always be here for your love
'Cause even if loving you is wrong
I'll do it, thoug h it may be tough
'Cause the pain is worse when you're gone.

Truth……..

Wat is truth when at times a person just refused to accept it?

What is truth when at times it brings unhappiness?

What is truth when it does not promise any light?

What is truth when you feel like ur life is at a road block?

What is truth when u feel like everything around u changed?

What is truth when everything around u starts to crumble?

What is truth when u dunno what is the truth anymore?

Truth………..

I wish truth can make ppl live more comfortable….

Feel better……

But it can rob ppl of d one single happiness….

Then y is truth still important in this world?

Irwansyah ft. Acha - My Heart

di sini kau dan aku

terbiasa bersama

menjalani kasih sayang

bahagia ku denganmu

pernahkah kau menguntai

hari-hari paling indah

terukir nama kita berdua

di sini surga kita

reff:

bila kita mencintai yg lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayangku akan hilang

if you love somebody could we be this strong

i willl fight to win, our love will conquer all

wouldn’t risk my love even just one night

our love will stay in my heart

pernahkah kau menguntai

hari paling indah

ku ukir nama kita berdua

di sini surga kita

bilakah kita mencintai yg lain

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar

sebisa mungkin tak akan pernah

sayangku akan hilang

repeat reff

Life is too short for us to hold on to something that doesn’t belong to us. Just let go……..hard as it may seems, but when the new season comes, just have to accept that the old one has passed and just have to continue to look forward to whatever treasures that will be in stored for us.

Sometimes, life is much easier when a person trys to be blur…..knowing too much, cares too much, too sensitive, feels too much…..can only lead to frustration which results in a person getting or feeling hurt.But that’s the way it works.If only life could have been easier.If only people could erase, edit, undo, paste etc like how a computer works, wouldn’t life be a lot easier?But i supposed it has never been that way.At least not how God has planned when he first created us.I guess most of the time we just need to be thankful for everthing that we got n for things that we don’t have or have lost, we only need to hope for better things to come.

I’, just so dead bored. Bored….bored….bored……haven been blogging for so so long…..really can’t wait for d holiday next week. Hopefully won b dat bored anymore.

12 August 2005(Friday), d day that i’ll remember 4-eva. D day dat Dolly my beloved dog got lost. She slipped out when mum was going out. Only found out when i came home bout 2 hrs later. It was almost midnite n i searched everywhere but i couldn’t find her. Dat nite i couldn’t sleep. D next morning i woke up early n searched d entire neighbourhood but still i couldn’t find her. I guess i’ve lost her forever n for real now. I haven shed a tear after dat morning search with hope that she’ll still come home by herself.

Went to teach tuition dat noon n when i came home, then realisation just dawn on me like thunder.I came home w/o Dolly greeting me like she used to when she was around.It is d first pain dat i felt ever since she got lost.It suddenly occured to me dat i might never see her again. Something seems to be stabbing at my heart dat time coz i could feel it so painful like it was ripping out my heart. I couldn’t bare it any longer n i just burst out crying. I cried a lot in d past about so many things but never something dat made me cry n my heart ache at d same time. Not even when i broke up w/o my bf.

I realized dat Dolly is not just a cute pet dog but she is like a family to me. She has been with d family for exactly 10yrs this year. I dun think we even treat her like one of her kind but more like a family. Ppl might think dat i’m crazy when they read this, but when some bond of affection has been builded, be it with human or animals, i supposed dat’s how everyone will feel when we lost either one.

I’m missing Dolly terribly. Even went out to search for her again just now but still i couldn’t find her. I supposed she’s really lost now. But i just pray n hope dat somehow she’ll come home again. Dat God will bring her home to us. But it seems quite unlikely. Mb i just have to hope dat God has found her a new home with a new family dat will love her as much as we do.

I miss d time when she” ask for food after 8pm everynite. D time when she always complains to my mum when i forgot to feed her. She’ll make this growling sound when she sees her n follows her around. My mum will just know dat we haven feed her n she’ll have to shout at us to feed her. I’ll miss those times when she’ll just stare at me if i kept on feeding her biscuits for few nite continuously n for d time she overturned d plate just to show me how she hates biscuits.I’ll miss d time when she wants us to tickle her. Gosh how much i’ll miss her.

I wonder where is she now. It will be a lot more comforting if i know dat she’s in good hands. But i am worry dat she might b out there starving. But with such a cute lil angel like her, i doubt it. ppl will just love her.

mum says she’ll not come home anymore. got kidnapped d. coz she says she’s a smart lil dog. she’ll come home if she’s not kidnapped. she ever went out b4 for one whole nite n we found her d next morning waiting for us to get to her n bring her back. or she’ll just play nearby n wait for us to come home n open d gate for her to come in. but this time neither happen. but still i cannot accept it. i still hope dat she’ll come home. i’ll miss her so much. even getting a new dog to replace her won’t do coz she’s so special. so diff from my other dogs dat i’d ever owned. she’s so understanding. almost human mum owes says.

My Dear Dolly, where r u now? Plz come home soon whenever u can o if u have d chance just in case u got kidnapped. I just hope  pray dat God will bring her back to us again. It wd have been easier if she died, coz at least we know wat happen to her. But this is unbareable. Dun even know how is she.o whether she’s in good hands. sigh………..

Life is so dead boring at d moment. N i am so damn restless with nothing to do. At least nothing fun to do. Have got lots to do but none excites me even a tiny bit.
Have u ever think about where have all d excitement gone when u r feeling down!!??  Sometimes i wish for something to happen but nothing happen. Seriously, blogging is not dat fun but i get to express my feelings.
Really miss those days when i was studying. Get to do all kind of stuffs, all kind of crazy stuffs to be exact,  also do all kind of wild things. Life was so free then. Happy go lucky. Went anywhere i wanted till wateva time i wan. How i wish i could have them back.
Now, stuck in damn all boring Kuching. Not dat i dun like Kch. It’s my hometown anyway but it’s just not a happening place to be in, especially when you are still young. U need happening places to spice up ur life man!!
I need to get out of Kch soon or else i’ll die of boredom. N my job is no help at all. Having to face kids everyday n i really wonder how i can survive till now. I wan to do something really excite me. Something more entertaining. Something that is not so routine. Changes all d time. N i also get to travel. Anyone has any idea what kind of job offer those!!???
Just so tired now n going to sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day n dat i won’t b so bored n DEPRESSEDDDDDDDDDD………………………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Grace i am not talking about u but i am talking about d Grace of God. Hehehe…..read on tho. Cheers.
Just came back from a drink with Jules. Saw her at d airport arriving. She looked tired. Jet leg.
Before meeting her i was in d leader’s meeting. We talked a lot about Grace tonite. What is GRACE? Often times we ask for God’s Grace n Mercy to be given to us. But are we giving as much as we r receiving from God? Take a minute and think about it. U know what my answer is? It’s a NO. You know Jesus came to earth to save all of us from our sins because He loves us. We r all called sinners. Often times we have a misconception of sinners. N old Christian do in fact. Thinking dat we r Christians so we r God’s beloved child n dat we r no longer a sinner. But becoz we r sinners God Jesus came to save us. N sinners do not mean only us, but also rapist, serial killer, rapist, drug dealers, etc. But to some.most of us, these ppl does not deserve d Grace of God. If we think dat way, then we should ask ourselves how much we deserve God’s Grace instead. If we compare ourself with God, we actually dun deserve his Grace or Mercy. But God loves us as we are, disregards of our skin color, our race, n religion. He loves all of us as much including these ppl whom we look in disgust.
Just this morning i was reading d newspaper n d main headline was about an 18 yrs old girl being gang raped by 4 men. When i read it i was filled with so much disgust  towards these animals. These uncivilised barbarians i called them. What is God doin? He still loves them as much as He loves us. It really surprised me. Often times we tot we have given enough grace to others. But who r we actually giving it to? Rapist, killer, prostitues, etc. No, not at all. We only want to show GRace to those ppl whom we think r in d acceptable list of people. We can never love or forgive ppl who hurt another person. But God can n He will do it. That’s how amazing our God is.
If God can show GRace freely, how can’t we. It’s becoz i supposed we r all also sinners n we need as much GRace from God as them. Taking Grace is easy but to give it out is a big challenge.
One thing that amazes me is how much GRace God can give? To what extend. He shows grace to us to d extend of sending his only beloved son to earth to save us from our sins. But what actually happen. Instead we mocked n stoned him to death. Some even denied Him. Jesus showed Grace until he was about to be crucified. When they wanted to crucified him, He did not pray a prayer of revenge but instead he prayed a prayer of forgiveness. He prayed to His Father to forgive those who sinned against him as they do not know what they are doing. Jesus did not ask God to wipe out d entiere human for earth. He could if He wanted to. N atfer He died, his blood was shed to wash away all our sins. That’s how full of GRace our God is.
I think GRace is really one of d thing that i’ll really like to understadn an d be carried in n out. It’s not easy to have GRace like Jeuss, but i want to challange all of us and myself to show more Grace to others. It’s not easy as it takes guts to do like what Jesus did. Ppl often say it takes guts to kill another person, take cigarettes, losing virginity, etc. It actually takes only a coward to do those. Coz it’s very easy to do and anyone and anybody can do it. However, to live a life that is pleasing to God really takes a lot of GUTS to do. Not everybody can do it.This was said by Ps. Sat n it really rattles me.
To live a life that is pleasing to God is not easy as we r living in a world full of temptations. So i really wan to challange everybody out there especailly christians to take up this challenge to live a pleasing life to God. Coz it really takes a lot of GUTS that we realised. N i also want to challange everybody to be filled with more Grace so that we can give out Grace more freely to everybody n anybody w/o discriminations.

I dun belif if. After almost 3 months of torture for d practicum period, i had my final practicum onservation by my lecturer this morning. N after screwing up last week, i managed to impress her today n had a very good comment from her. Was so relief. D burden just suddenly go off my shoulder. I know God is with me all d time. With him everything is possible. N he helped me through all n stress n tension. Really thank God for that.
Tonight i’m going to laze around n i won’t touch even a single work. Dat’s what i’m going to do today. After dat just need to do some final touch up nia. Praise God for that!!